Morning Handover

I can hear the call bell ringing
As I turn up for my shift
There is someone somewhere singing
And the night staff look quite miffed
So we start our morning meeting
Take handover for the day
With my optimism fleeting
The Sister starts to say

That woman you are hearing
Well, she’s been like that all night
With her tones less than endearing
Won’t shut up without a fight
Of course we’ve tried to reason
But it’s falling on deaf ears
Like a cat that’s just in season
And whose yowls will bring you tears

She’s had a visit from the doctor
And she gave him quite the scare
From the moment that he clocked her
In her scanty underwear
We have tried to give sedation
But she instantly refused
Then she barked like an Alsatian
Which has had us quite confused

We’ve offered her distractions
Of juice and tea to drink
And hidden our reactions
As she’s poured them down the sink
By dawn she had me shouting
And for that I feel quite bad
But there really is no doubting
That this woman’s rather mad

Which bed is she in, Sister?
I enquire without defeat
It seems you may have missed her
From the day’s handover sheet
Oh, this woman’s not a patient, dear
I’m afraid it’s far more bleak
She is to be the matron here
And starts the job this week!

Aiden Bex